Reciprocity is key

In the words of my girl Lauryn Hill, “Can I get some reciprocity?”

I have been scrutinizing the words of the American statesman and inventor Ben Franklin who first observed the paradox, now called the Ben Franklin Effect: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged."

Simply put, the Ben Franklin effect is a psychological finding: A person who has done someone a favor is more likely to do that person another favor than they would be if they had received a favor from that person.

But when does the madness stop? It is proven that if you do a favor for someone once you are more likely to do a favor for that person again. Why? Because you rationalize that you like that person and you helped in the past.

Author, Dale Carnegie understood that the technique of asking for a favor is effective because, rather than being a burden, it is a subtle form of flattery.


The tire is flat…...... and flattery won't help!

Well how about this – I’m no longer flattered that some feel as though I am “able” to handle their requests or needs. I’m going to need some reciprocity!

The tire on the wagon is flat! What wagon you may ask? The wagon I’ve pulled around mentally feeling as though I am obligated to help, obligated to do or obligated to attend.

Yes, the tire is flat and I have no intentions of inflating that tire; as a matter of the fact I’m junking the entire wagon.

From now on my actions will not be tied to feelings of obligations, I will engage in an activity because I choose to. I will invest my time, money and talents in areas that are conducive to productivity.

But I am not upset or jaded by the lack of reciprocity from previously semi-noteworthy relationships, because I truly understand the law of giving and receiving.

The universe operates through dynamic exchange……giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. In our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe operating in our lives.

The Proof is in the pudding…..

What God has for me is far more than I could receive from any man or woman so I rest in knowing that all of my work has not been in vain. I see how He has smiled on me; these things are evident in my children & their happiness, my husband and his faithfulness, a home that is peaceful and healthy relationships with family and friends.